YOU'VE BEEN IN THAILAND TOO LONG WHEN....
Adapted from a thread on the ThaiVisa.com forums:
You Know You've Been In Thailand Too Long When...I can actually relate to a whole lot of these....
- You keep a roll of toilet paper on your dinner table
- You can no longer string a full sentence of English words together ... "Where go now?"
- You think it's okay to invite three guests at a time even though you only have one guest bedroom
- You no longer are surprised to see a family of five riding on one motorbike and the dog riding pillion
- The footprints on the toilet seat are your own
- You don't notice the cleaning lady in the public toilets scrubbing the next urinal while you take a pee
- You use Thai tonal pronunciation on English words even to other farangs, "I from AmareeKAH"
- It's perfectly acceptable to drive on the wrong side of the street
- You decline to wear a motorbike helmet because it will mess up your hair
- You have a pinky fingernail an inch long
- It's exciting to see if you can get into the elevator before anyone else can get out
- It's just part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes you something completely different
- When shopping at the supermarket, a farang stares you down when he catches you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what farangs eat
- You are not surprised when three men show up to change a lightbulb
- You are careful to cover your mouth when picking your teeth, but openly pick your nose at the dinner table
- You eat bugs and tell yourself they are nutritious and have alot of protein
- You tell yourself that paying bribes to the police is acceptible behavior
- You side with the locals when watching a street brawl
- Rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner doesn't faze you
- You duck your head automatically when you pass in front of someone
- You accept ice in your beer
- You can go for weeks without toilet paper
- You pat scabby dogs on the head
- Your wife/girlfriend asks if you would like to go out for a beer and you reply "Up to you"
- Your dog or cat lives somewhere down the street
- You think the knee is the best part of the chicken
- "Sexpats", "Pirates", "Yellow Fever" and "Rice Queens" are part of your vocabulary
- You think brown-nosing is a commendable trait
- You turn off the news and switch to the gossip channel because you think it's more relevant
- You think a 30-year car loan is normal
- You are no longer bothered by the traffic as everybody drives like that
- You sit on the floor eating cold food off a plastic plate, drinking Sam Song while watching Channel 7 at full volume on the TV after midnight
- Hearing "Mai Dai" ["cannot"] for the 300th time in a day doesn't bother you
- It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at meeting time is the venue of the next meeeting
- You no longer wonder how a civil servant earning USD $400 a month can afford to drive a Mercedes
- You'd rather SMS someone than meeting them in person
- You go up to a fat bloke you have never met and ask "how many babies?" while patting him on the gut
- You look both ways when crossing a one way street
- You're comfortable peeing in a room full of girls putting on makeup
- You have 20 bottles of sauce in the fridge and not one is ketchup
- Listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller
- You gather up all your plastic bottles, old shopping bags, and burn them in the back yard
- You invite the wife out for a romantic dinner and the entire village comes along
- You accept the straw and plastic bag along with your purchased can of beer from the 7-Eleven
- You stop thinking that a girl riding pillion on a motorbike, side-saddle, wearing a mini-skirt, with one toe pointing to the ground, while putting on make-up, is anything out of the ordinary
- Farang tourists come up to you and ask you directions
- On one of your rare visits to Farangland, you can't figure out why people on the street don't not smile at you when you make eye contact
- You don't mind buying your medicine in a pharmacy where a dog is sleeping on the floor
- A friend invites you to a classy restaurant and you order fried rice
- You wai spirit shrines because you're afraid of offending the resident ghost
- You stop dreaming about going to Burger King
- Your family stops asking you when are you coming back
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