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Adapted from a thread on the forums:

You Know You've Been In Thailand Too Long When...

  • You keep a roll of toilet paper on your dinner table

  • You can no longer string a full sentence of English words together ... "Where go now?"

  • You think it's okay to invite three guests at a time even though you only have one guest bedroom

  • You no longer are surprised to see a family of five riding on one motorbike and the dog riding pillion

  • The footprints on the toilet seat are your own

  • You don't notice the cleaning lady in the public toilets scrubbing the next urinal while you take a pee

  • You use Thai tonal pronunciation on English words even to other farangs, "I from AmareeKAH"

  • It's perfectly acceptable to drive on the wrong side of the street

  • You decline to wear a motorbike helmet because it will mess up your hair

  • You have a pinky fingernail an inch long

  • It's exciting to see if you can get into the elevator before anyone else can get out

  • It's just part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes you something completely different

  • When shopping at the supermarket, a farang stares you down when he catches you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what farangs eat

  • You are not surprised when three men show up to change a lightbulb

  • You are careful to cover your mouth when picking your teeth, but openly pick your nose at the dinner table

  • You eat bugs and tell yourself they are nutritious and have alot of protein

  • You tell yourself that paying bribes to the police is acceptible behavior

  • You side with the locals when watching a street brawl

  • Rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner doesn't faze you

  • You duck your head automatically when you pass in front of someone

  • You accept ice in your beer

  • You can go for weeks without toilet paper

  • You pat scabby dogs on the head

  • Your wife/girlfriend asks if you would like to go out for a beer and you reply "Up to you"

  • Your dog or cat lives somewhere down the street

  • You think the knee is the best part of the chicken

  • "Sexpats", "Pirates", "Yellow Fever" and "Rice Queens" are part of your vocabulary

  • You think brown-nosing is a commendable trait

  • You turn off the news and switch to the gossip channel because you think it's more relevant

  • You think a 30-year car loan is normal

  • You are no longer bothered by the traffic as everybody drives like that

  • You sit on the floor eating cold food off a plastic plate, drinking Sam Song while watching Channel 7 at full volume on the TV after midnight

  • Hearing "Mai Dai" ["cannot"] for the 300th time in a day doesn't bother you

  • It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at meeting time is the venue of the next meeeting

  • You no longer wonder how a civil servant earning USD $400 a month can afford to drive a Mercedes

  • You'd rather SMS someone than meeting them in person

  • You go up to a fat bloke you have never met and ask "how many babies?" while patting him on the gut

  • You look both ways when crossing a one way street

  • You're comfortable peeing in a room full of girls putting on makeup

  • You have 20 bottles of sauce in the fridge and not one is ketchup

  • Listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller

  • You gather up all your plastic bottles, old shopping bags, and burn them in the back yard

  • You invite the wife out for a romantic dinner and the entire village comes along

  • You accept the straw and plastic bag along with your purchased can of beer from the 7-Eleven

  • You stop thinking that a girl riding pillion on a motorbike, side-saddle, wearing a mini-skirt, with one toe pointing to the ground, while putting on make-up, is anything out of the ordinary

  • Farang tourists come up to you and ask you directions

  • On one of your rare visits to Farangland, you can't figure out why people on the street don't not smile at you when you make eye contact

  • You don't mind buying your medicine in a pharmacy where a dog is sleeping on the floor

  • A friend invites you to a classy restaurant and you order fried rice

  • You wai spirit shrines because you're afraid of offending the resident ghost

  • You stop dreaming about going to Burger King

  • Your family stops asking you when are you coming back
I can actually relate to a whole lot of these....